Back on with a Reality Check

(The following was written on July 1st)

So the truth is that there is little reality within the phrase “Happiest Mommy on the Block.”  This is why I shut down my blog for a while.  It felt a bit like a farce.

I want this blog to be a record for my family and me, yet I feel like I have to put on a filter every time I write.  And I am so tired of filters.  The truth — the reality — of this “happiest mommy”  is that mothering two preschoolers is hard.  Hard enough to bring on my own tears in the middle of a three or four-year-old’s tantrum.

And the other part of my reality is that living in a small town is occasionally a bitch.  (Sorry for the language, Marsha.  Still working with that filter.) There.  I’ve said it.  I love my town for so many reasons and will gladly (and sincerely) talk it up to the nearest target.  And I’ll support the heck out if it with any resources I have.  That said, I have realized over the course of the past year that my skin may not yet be thick enough to live in a small community.   (Until the last five years, I have always lived in larger areas.)

(The following was written on August 1st)

All of the above is true, but as they say, time heals all wounds.  This morning, before the kids awoke, I read a column by Heather Lende in Woman’s Day over a cup of coffee.  It is titled, “Occupation: Domestic Goddess.”  She had me at blueberry picking and got me again when she admitted that her kids bake better than her.  As the cable station Nick Junior might say, she came across as a “perfectly imperfect” homemaker who isn’t uncomfortable with the idea of filling in the occupation status box on a form with “Domestic Goddess.”  My kind of gal!

Energized by reading Lende’s nerve-hitting article about celebrating “the unexpected pleasures of making a home,” I realized that five weeks of summer have passed and things are looking up.  (Earlier this season, I left town for two weeks and have had back-to-back company for the last three.)  I wanted to jump on my blog and write!  So here I am…trying to navigate beyond self-imposed filters while building thicker skin.  One post at a time.

I’m back.

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3 Responses to Back on with a Reality Check

  1. Brandy says:

    I am happy to have you back, my friend.

  2. Laura says:

    Love you Tara! It took me 2 hours to get the kids to bed tonight. By the time they fell asleep I was questioning whether I was teaching them something or just ruining them. Your words made me cry and laugh. Motherhood is sooo tough. Thanks for sharing and being real!

  3. happiestmommies says:

    Thanks, girls! Love you, too! Laura, every day I question whether I am leaving “just ruining them” and leaving scars. It seems as if my own scars– created out of guilt — are the most noticeable though after the fact. Only time will tell, right?

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